\”Definition of success is not recognition+money. It is now+excitement\”
\”It is not pursuit of happiness. It is the habit of happiness\”
\”Most of your behaviour, feelings are a result of unconscious priming by your environment, rational brain just invents narratives to explain\”
These are some of the words of the late Sushant Singh Rajput. Many know him as an actor who excelled in his craft but some of us(me included) followed him on social media for other reasons as well. He was a star gazer and astrophysics enthusiast(owned an expensive telescope), an avid reader who frequently posted about books, a poet, an enthusiastic learner in fields of coding, virtual reality, artificial intelligence and machine learning. His tweets often had complex graphs and statements which required deep reflection to be understood. His bucket list showcased his varied dreams from flying to learning Polynesian astronomy; from sending kids to NASA to understanding Vedic Astrology. His Instagram handle says \”Photon in a double slit\” and Twitter has a cover of Van Gogh painting( ironically both of which hint at some form existence after physical death).
There is no doubt we are talking about a genius here. An intellectual with varied interests in science, literature, technology, arts and spirituality. I do not want to delve into what could have possibly driven such a young, intelligent, aware and socially responsible person to take a drastic step of ending his own life. He does not seem emotionally immature ( he was a rank holder in engineering entrance exam which he took weeks after his mother passed away) or impulsive( his words on social media are filled with wisdom). But every person has a private life that hardly anyone else is aware of. We all as human beings have our own struggles , problems and limitations that even our near and dear ones may not be aware of. So the question that must be asked is not why he did what he did but a much bigger larger and more pertinent question of what is it that is going wrong in our society that young, intelligent talented and successful people like him are driven to this state of helplessness??
To put it consisely rather than talking about his depression (which is important no doubt) it would help us all of we as a society reflect on those factors which are driving bright and promising minds like him into darkness and hopelessness. I am aware that mental illness is just like any other physical ailment whose causative factor can be anything and requires proper medical care. But it\’s also true that the society we live in can be a trigger to illnesses like these in many ways.
I personally believe that the answer to many questions lies in the famous statement by Aristotle – \”Man is by nature a social animal\”. No matter who we are and where we come from, we all in our own personal ways yearn for deep meaningful human connections. We all want to be valued, appreciated, cared, loved and remembered in our own capacities. Our social interactions vary widely. some of us make a large number of friends while others have less than handful; some of us love to surround ourselves with people while others prefer solitude. In spite of these significant differences we all have a common factor. Sushanth had said in an interview that \”we all either seek to understand or be understood\”.
But this exchange can happen properly only when there is societal acceptance to every type of personality. But we unfortunately live in society and times which operates with so many biases. Our societies are largely more conducive to extroverts compared to introverts; we often celebrate mediocrity compared to merit/talent/intelligence thereby pushing people at either ends of the spectrum to being outliers in a system dominated by averages.
This discrimination comes both in subtle and not so subtle ways. The so called \”geeks\” are often made fun of in public and by media; people with intellectual or spiritual pursuits are often mocked at by those who don\’t have such leanings. Social circles often conveniently exclude people in pretext of being \”intellectual types\”, driving these individuals to either seek those handful of people who actually understand and accept them(if they get lucky) or seek comfort in solitude.
But why is it so hard for such people to find their own tribe? Because as a community we again exhibit biases. Going to movies in leisure is more widely accepted and practised compared to going to libraries or museums; going to religious or spiritual places has even less takers. Pubs and malls have more footfalls compared to art galleries and book clubs. There seem to be invisible definitions of what are considered \”cool\” hobbies and interests pushing the more \”serious\” or \”academically inclined\” ones to being in the fringes.
This discrimination gradually leads to either alienation and isolation of susceptible individuals, or pushes them into conforming. College kids would rather been seen partying than reading poetry; girls would rather be caught talking fashion than politics or law; men would rather discuss office politics than philosophical leanings. This kind of subtle manipulation is bound to lead to insecurities and confusion. Both of those who learn to swim with the tide and those who don\’t and go against it are vulnerable to being affected if they are not true to themselves. For who has the right to dictate what we like and what we dislike?
So where is the solution to this? We need focus on building societies which are equally accepting and embrace all kinds of individuals. One of the easiest ways of ensuring mental health and emotional well-being of every person in a society is to create an environment which is more accepting than judging; more open than confined; where the limits are not dictated by others. Where every individual feels free to express their true selves and make meaningful human connections based on them.
Until we consciously and collectively strive to make this happen, until every individual feels confident to live the way he/she wants at the same time find resonance in the society, we will unfortunately keep witnessing such dire consequences triggered by loneliness and social isolation.
The noose of societal pressure and expectations on individual expression needs to loosen up. Maybe we can all start with a little more empathy??
https://youtu.be/ZadX2J_gyvU
Picture credit: Instagram @sushantsinghrajput
